tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-83639311699175833862024-02-07T11:49:37.327-08:00I think I missed the turnoff to Pouce CoupeLynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-39195265694500648662011-07-16T16:24:00.000-07:002011-07-16T20:22:02.963-07:00Poem of Love<div class="MsoNormal">I went to the Museum of the Word and the Image in San Salvador today. It’s a place thick with sorrow and an energy that I can’t name, a place where a knot builds in your throat as you catch another glimpse of the incredible violence that this country lived through such a short time ago. The Salvadoran civil war lasted from 1980 to 1992, and as I was looking at images I tried to place myself somehow in them, like, “this massacre happened when I was in grade 9”. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I know embarrassingly little about El Salvador’s history. But what I do know is that the ruling elite which were powerful families backed by the Salvadoran military owned virtually all of the country's wealth while the other 99 percent of El Salvador’s population lived in extreme poverty. When populist movements tried to rectify this, they were branded communists by the American government who then pumped in money to train more of the country’s youth to kill their own people and maintain the status quo by military force. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There’s a great little room in the museum called “The cave of the passions” which is a re-creation of the broadcasting booth for “FMLN venceremos”, the official voice of one of the protest movements. It’s got the broadcasting equipment, and pictures and documents of the FMLN in action. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But what got me thinking the most was how the US (and Canada, through complicity and silence) sacrificed countless lives in order to maintain Empire (world control and bargain prices for the north American consumer). And it was an impossible situation for people to live in, so they made dangerous and sometimes deadly journeys to the north in search of a liveable life, just to become the serving class in our caste system.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">One of the poems that grabbed me and shook me is by Roque Dalton (1935-1975), and it’s a love poem for his countrymen.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">Poem of Love<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">The ones who widened the Panama Canal<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">(and were classified “silver roll” and not “gold roll”),<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the ones who repaired the Pacific fleet<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">on the bases of California,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the ones who rotted in the jails of Guatemala,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">Mexico, Honduras, Nicaragua,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">for stealing, smuggling, fraud,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">for being hungry,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the always-suspected-of-everything<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">(“permit me to haul you in <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">for suspicious streetcorner loitering<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">with the aggravated charge of being Salvadoran”),<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the women who filled the bars and whorehouses<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">of all the ports and capitals of the Zone<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">(“The Blue Cavern”, “Panties”, “Happyland”)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the planters of corn deep in foreign jungles,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the kings of the red page,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the ones no one ever knows where they’re from,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the best artisans in the world,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the ones who were stitched apart by bullets crossing the border,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the ones who died of malaria<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">or of scorpion bites or yellow fever<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">in the hells of banana plantations,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the ones who drunkenly cry for the national anthem<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">beneath Pacific cyclones or northern snows,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the moochers, the beggars, the pot-heads,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the <i>guanacos</i></span><span style="color: #2f2823;"> sons of bitches,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the ones who were barely able to return,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the ones with a little more luck,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the eternal undocumented ones,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the jacks-of-all-trades, the salesmen-of-everything, the ones who’ll eat anything,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the first to pull out the knife,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">the saddest of the world’s sad,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">my compatriots,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="color: #2f2823;">my brothers.<o:p></o:p></span></div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-12144810134495535682011-07-12T19:29:00.001-07:002011-07-12T19:29:08.517-07:00Honduras y otras cosas<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">It´s been a really long time since my last post. Again, so much has happened that I know I´ll never be able to give a real update on what all has taken place. But some of the highlights have been that I spent some time with my MCC team for a retreat to the Mayan ruins in Copán, Honduras.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"> I would put captions underneath the pictures but I don't really know much about them. But they are beautiful and very impressive. </span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilFiLi3CpZtJbiqTM3ZAplCntxS0tEJHvT7WQV0uYFShyphenhyphenzbxVPrmVlXgaNEt7N9TrSv5vCZFPdl5tfjdYYP0tRt2pJTXbq3GwxJ8Uw5LM9KC9UkepJQjELb_MsglZq4iCUWUIhQqHZjKeG/s1600/DSCN0785.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilFiLi3CpZtJbiqTM3ZAplCntxS0tEJHvT7WQV0uYFShyphenhyphenzbxVPrmVlXgaNEt7N9TrSv5vCZFPdl5tfjdYYP0tRt2pJTXbq3GwxJ8Uw5LM9KC9UkepJQjELb_MsglZq4iCUWUIhQqHZjKeG/s320/DSCN0785.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Some of the other highlights have been that I have finally started giving workshops on my own and really just getting more involved in more aspects of my job. My first workshop went surprisingly well. I found the youth to be funny, engaging, very intelligent and eager to learn. Part of my work with this particular group will also be in starting up a small initiative aimed at making a little bit of money, but more importantly at working together (there are nine youth in this group) to achieve a common vision. They decided that they wanted to buy a cow with the funds, and that they will be taking turns taking care of it. They also want to learn to make cheese, probably ¨fresco¨, which is a soft, sharp, salty kind of cheese that usually goes with breakfast, and sometimes lunch and dinner. Aparently none of us actually know how to make it so I´ll be trying to get someone to give us a workshop on cheese making.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">I´ve also given a few other workshops which I haven´t felt quite as positive about. Although the youth were really great, I think they were more timid and so that made it really hard to lead. And of coure the more nervous I get, the more I start mumbling and my brain goes blank and I´m trying to think of the right words and how to put them together in Spanish while having everyone look at me either like I´m crazy or some kind of alien. But I was debriefing with a co-worker and good friend here at ANADES who pointed out that it´s just another environment that I need to get comfortable in. And I´ve noticed that I really have no fear in speaking spanish in most situations anymore, so what´s one more environment to conquer?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">I´ve also been attending the support group for people living with HIV and AIDS. Part of my role is to provide ¨emotional and spiritual support¨ to the people in this group. That means that at some point I should start also going and visiting them at their homes. And I want to, I just know from experience what happens to my health when I do too much and burn out. Anyway, the guy who is in charge of this project told me that they used to have funds for a psychologist to work with this group on a contract basis but no longer have the funds. He knew that I was a mental health therapist in a former life and so asked me if I´d be willing to lead the group counseling sessions. That really made my day, and I told him that I can see myself being comfortable doing that in time, maybe 4 months or so. The difference between that and what I´m doing with the workshops is that you really use a different level of language. For example, a lot of the workshops are concrete and factual, and I can plan before hand what I want to talk about. In a counseling session the content is emotional (conditional and all the subjunctive tenses) which is a much more difficult level of language. And I would just hate to have things happen that I should be responding to but am either not catching or am not able to express emotionally what I want to say. So there is a future challenge.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">Lastly, my brother in law is getting re-married in September and I plan to be back in Canada for the wedding. I´ve got 3 weeks of vacation for this year and so have just decided to use it all during that time. I didn´t realize that I was homesick until I started to think about all the thinks I´ve missed from home. So it´s been really good to have that trip to look forward to.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
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</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">I hope to see many of you, my faithful readers (haha), when I come back to Canada in September. Until the next time, take care!</span>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-25977280206006745292011-06-08T15:21:00.000-07:002011-06-08T15:21:54.798-07:00Apartment Photos<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Here are the long anticipated photos of my new apartment in San Salvador. I'll take you on a tour of the neighbourhood and then show you my house.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Calle Washington where I catch the bus<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfGjKW99VRvIxXhcqN2Jiz3QSM1OT61DC4l0aOupCxsHRrJOLFxhQ62m-EvKF1MqHjYLZ3UNJGPzSf00_0tISiI27dEd_q6iCH7Fc2PQXaaqkTer4Qk3heUTr3uvG9envU0fCkgOqq0ViH/s1600/san+salvador+apartment16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfGjKW99VRvIxXhcqN2Jiz3QSM1OT61DC4l0aOupCxsHRrJOLFxhQ62m-EvKF1MqHjYLZ3UNJGPzSf00_0tISiI27dEd_q6iCH7Fc2PQXaaqkTer4Qk3heUTr3uvG9envU0fCkgOqq0ViH/s320/san+salvador+apartment16.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Walking down the street from the bus, the blue building is a school<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHRiuDBf3YrHRbrg-oJcWotL05GMeOS-BTd1Mby3ODG2cubl-WSbQnei3AMmNxwz7N489FHiIz_sZxsDJKpAALOCwz19wjN1n3hg4q2Pzi3NPnRnrlKts23-5ZSvQXO8CwESmMhOR9q-SA/s1600/san+salvador+apartment17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHRiuDBf3YrHRbrg-oJcWotL05GMeOS-BTd1Mby3ODG2cubl-WSbQnei3AMmNxwz7N489FHiIz_sZxsDJKpAALOCwz19wjN1n3hg4q2Pzi3NPnRnrlKts23-5ZSvQXO8CwESmMhOR9q-SA/s320/san+salvador+apartment17.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A little tienda</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikwoChFYEA-cToNObRccDCFOQBD7srL4WVqS1xwIVaLccmHciRcw-cDyUCre6u7XF7roqCmU_18pUJjg4C8TrZOjU80LkVZ3f-gs8vV6do_ttcuRpq_WfpfiYyGSyz4FcVs9CuvXJvoPKq/s1600/san+salvador+apartment18.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikwoChFYEA-cToNObRccDCFOQBD7srL4WVqS1xwIVaLccmHciRcw-cDyUCre6u7XF7roqCmU_18pUJjg4C8TrZOjU80LkVZ3f-gs8vV6do_ttcuRpq_WfpfiYyGSyz4FcVs9CuvXJvoPKq/s320/san+salvador+apartment18.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The pupuseria where I usually eat supper</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmbdnYAEf6oo7R6gXR6p-4hWXYoPVoXWmeyYBr1JbnI5WJTHD9YqXgLDNeDh_1WC1ELb8eN_Pa1vjxVsZ2BxKJR2FY3RLfWyRuhjgYJdoQ4nzNblkOWKnFVwooozRLo3TVk23BaHayvPmI/s1600/san+salvador+apartment19.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmbdnYAEf6oo7R6gXR6p-4hWXYoPVoXWmeyYBr1JbnI5WJTHD9YqXgLDNeDh_1WC1ELb8eN_Pa1vjxVsZ2BxKJR2FY3RLfWyRuhjgYJdoQ4nzNblkOWKnFVwooozRLo3TVk23BaHayvPmI/s320/san+salvador+apartment19.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is a little licuado (blended fruit smoothy) place</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_juxbCep1FhR0YUqrUgwKNoKiNNlUNOOzyNs1FZpEm8wgXBrUXPsrp2h6FsncI8qkqFQ1-a97Vuq-2SAVu9x08lKtiQ_Fg0T0xtWgaaAEW2JeECCdX0x60mHO_WKPdkzpgUHEhr2ViRzf/s1600/san+salvador+apartment20.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_juxbCep1FhR0YUqrUgwKNoKiNNlUNOOzyNs1FZpEm8wgXBrUXPsrp2h6FsncI8qkqFQ1-a97Vuq-2SAVu9x08lKtiQ_Fg0T0xtWgaaAEW2JeECCdX0x60mHO_WKPdkzpgUHEhr2ViRzf/s320/san+salvador+apartment20.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Here is the pasaje leading to my house</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhMQlpIMBnIO43aImiltaLNd8tXmOtGVNlMaOwyIlS4IwMkcUepfvH0Ivvk2r-60XtP9CmJhu_zNNuig57ovZQb9FX0rOp3kVtAbEzkRLQTgv-a0lLXkl5ALHHVGWCmyzc5cCYTttK7-YB/s1600/san+salvador+apartment14.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhMQlpIMBnIO43aImiltaLNd8tXmOtGVNlMaOwyIlS4IwMkcUepfvH0Ivvk2r-60XtP9CmJhu_zNNuig57ovZQb9FX0rOp3kVtAbEzkRLQTgv-a0lLXkl5ALHHVGWCmyzc5cCYTttK7-YB/s320/san+salvador+apartment14.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The gate from the outside</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyxAlIMYajA9mhJ0Sk5GqO0q5jKS7Ivi78BOOIomAJVs5yRhwZeFXcviUGkki5gYKydW-CrGe5-41hxLcValGzOFZ1-DP86zfYdcFT-7OarsG03ACg289eBb0Hx4FH_kKG3WMsRxAWaZIK/s1600/san+salvador+apartment10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyxAlIMYajA9mhJ0Sk5GqO0q5jKS7Ivi78BOOIomAJVs5yRhwZeFXcviUGkki5gYKydW-CrGe5-41hxLcValGzOFZ1-DP86zfYdcFT-7OarsG03ACg289eBb0Hx4FH_kKG3WMsRxAWaZIK/s320/san+salvador+apartment10.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The gate from the inside</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The yard</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTYzCW8cvf-dp6t-jc3dGedMyD4LgLBRceEWdpSNLhH7gB_n2_UJ3xh1lmUDzSeIPl2W7KMKZZ_w8p3Z17SDgRhTmccIkO1THFbf2JrokLhnvqZPkdXZWmM7XxY8CbN2E64-CGri-ud8Lb/s1600/san+salvador+apartment21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTYzCW8cvf-dp6t-jc3dGedMyD4LgLBRceEWdpSNLhH7gB_n2_UJ3xh1lmUDzSeIPl2W7KMKZZ_w8p3Z17SDgRhTmccIkO1THFbf2JrokLhnvqZPkdXZWmM7XxY8CbN2E64-CGri-ud8Lb/s320/san+salvador+apartment21.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More yard</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLp9YqHRUiKQkVsqTHj2o-gWdWJcrneMRG_AvPAF0ecbRgpTLpC9-pC0qJk6Itzwkft3qecMNaP8omrQm7sAX7ObtiMyqFUeEb9I-IzdhAmEFXj4A_vwwHVOnYd3VfVhTtrvjtOh2xEdLO/s1600/san+salvador+apartment22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLp9YqHRUiKQkVsqTHj2o-gWdWJcrneMRG_AvPAF0ecbRgpTLpC9-pC0qJk6Itzwkft3qecMNaP8omrQm7sAX7ObtiMyqFUeEb9I-IzdhAmEFXj4A_vwwHVOnYd3VfVhTtrvjtOh2xEdLO/s320/san+salvador+apartment22.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My house! The upper floor is mine</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT0mBNBr1UDeQ9w6jlErhz4cEpDqw7rzO_fKk4W-kYfNJBa_VBLve1CG_uKJxDesl71zYbqeBpVIuzFYwoA3a7Mof8VoYgPtfDHwnPX2ampCHbVGCp-vmn11kA4Lsqa839T-U35VZMzuRN/s1600/san+salvador+apartment8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjT0mBNBr1UDeQ9w6jlErhz4cEpDqw7rzO_fKk4W-kYfNJBa_VBLve1CG_uKJxDesl71zYbqeBpVIuzFYwoA3a7Mof8VoYgPtfDHwnPX2ampCHbVGCp-vmn11kA4Lsqa839T-U35VZMzuRN/s320/san+salvador+apartment8.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The pila with clothes soaking for me to wash later</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjImiG9KCZGBT66RmEytu6UUgI4r4_Znw_m8a_W7bhkvFfsbgbnG2ohMeFZc4Vjjf4kaLkEAxrXqH4pZ4P8Z7w-Bnqb1J_bUT7saTgfzLQK6tlRidhcOwee19lRwB_cj8_DsRVmVTmidJH_/s1600/san+salvador+apartment5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjImiG9KCZGBT66RmEytu6UUgI4r4_Znw_m8a_W7bhkvFfsbgbnG2ohMeFZc4Vjjf4kaLkEAxrXqH4pZ4P8Z7w-Bnqb1J_bUT7saTgfzLQK6tlRidhcOwee19lRwB_cj8_DsRVmVTmidJH_/s320/san+salvador+apartment5.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My balcony</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRPaAii3c9stUhyphenhyphen6ZMDut_G6MQa_9pB5FKFN0hShmj8wV6CR58mOPDuvcSW1cGZpL3ERTtPmTk-8S-H6NXAxLzEvNsd30DeOWc5qL-vqLjTGoMkkO8c12LkN5XWWxc0XmA_bp2nYCLos7R/s1600/san+salvador+apartment7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRPaAii3c9stUhyphenhyphen6ZMDut_G6MQa_9pB5FKFN0hShmj8wV6CR58mOPDuvcSW1cGZpL3ERTtPmTk-8S-H6NXAxLzEvNsd30DeOWc5qL-vqLjTGoMkkO8c12LkN5XWWxc0XmA_bp2nYCLos7R/s320/san+salvador+apartment7.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">View from my balcony</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjien5JR-cd57_tBEU0t6jkw8LaUsvYrhwsrf_vrRftIEbtxcTtaQMb4RK2be6FYCt7c30xoko_3SNV5SDJlGt9Ar1RBLbbnRwVDI9n6kzUT8W7LpxB8Bbu6306aigYQ55iT2iF5Ttwt6Li/s1600/san+salvador+apartment+23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjien5JR-cd57_tBEU0t6jkw8LaUsvYrhwsrf_vrRftIEbtxcTtaQMb4RK2be6FYCt7c30xoko_3SNV5SDJlGt9Ar1RBLbbnRwVDI9n6kzUT8W7LpxB8Bbu6306aigYQ55iT2iF5Ttwt6Li/s320/san+salvador+apartment+23.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Another view from my balcony, when I've had a hard day I just remember that not everyone gets mango trees and palm trees in their backyard</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvhdBkaYuKmlJwqyRzyPLPdlFPDqt0o9fag9aTVKScsbysYHXGJ3EBEnuVNgZ7O3UsgdkgV4mv6tWMVCQqsaJ_BVAE2WcDRCHvxaFq3IHxU9m0q4d2rbHolUKAPwkULlbZ5kG6N3omQH9K/s1600/san+salvador+apartment13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvhdBkaYuKmlJwqyRzyPLPdlFPDqt0o9fag9aTVKScsbysYHXGJ3EBEnuVNgZ7O3UsgdkgV4mv6tWMVCQqsaJ_BVAE2WcDRCHvxaFq3IHxU9m0q4d2rbHolUKAPwkULlbZ5kG6N3omQH9K/s320/san+salvador+apartment13.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kitchen</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJZUkaMZ8GmK3jSvFQse7OMcugZUt6bIMas3y4YT5W7GI6W-oBBguAm0BkRftELsFkWDkGvbtLbw9TftiKRFq3ElMxyUrzUvItbu6Z_XTj9zGjCwmopqeXtFKyjKVT9ZugAP3XMprks7A4/s1600/san+salvador+apartment1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJZUkaMZ8GmK3jSvFQse7OMcugZUt6bIMas3y4YT5W7GI6W-oBBguAm0BkRftELsFkWDkGvbtLbw9TftiKRFq3ElMxyUrzUvItbu6Z_XTj9zGjCwmopqeXtFKyjKVT9ZugAP3XMprks7A4/s320/san+salvador+apartment1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More kitchen</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqeP41otZ3rpX74YaCj87ekaJWL7OEuY2p2IPKEzJi7INHhEtDSmkN25qrUxXBMOZT2JR0LheJOWVAYBQUHU25se7PauLwObAkvw9wv8i6YcRNFHexcGd1m0sdsuEN7QrY4VuUezlmdbH/s1600/san+salvador+apartment3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaqeP41otZ3rpX74YaCj87ekaJWL7OEuY2p2IPKEzJi7INHhEtDSmkN25qrUxXBMOZT2JR0LheJOWVAYBQUHU25se7PauLwObAkvw9wv8i6YcRNFHexcGd1m0sdsuEN7QrY4VuUezlmdbH/s320/san+salvador+apartment3.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bedroom</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOz2LbE_G-dprljDwSrIE6Ho_ZoQG2fvV7PqOjPLsL99kglu503mM3bh6hNuT06YsmQxZpRwXQm7Po2400h1EytlpaBYVSd6qfYLHhCPm8HHIGQ7sgu_m4R2HBbNxlSMlxz74Uw9Vsqjlf/s1600/san+salvador+apartment4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOz2LbE_G-dprljDwSrIE6Ho_ZoQG2fvV7PqOjPLsL99kglu503mM3bh6hNuT06YsmQxZpRwXQm7Po2400h1EytlpaBYVSd6qfYLHhCPm8HHIGQ7sgu_m4R2HBbNxlSMlxz74Uw9Vsqjlf/s320/san+salvador+apartment4.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">More bedroom</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div> Hope you enjoyed the tour!Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-85361108711283342572011-05-25T14:27:00.000-07:002011-05-25T14:27:44.789-07:00New Apartment<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">It’s a long time since I’ve given an update.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had wanted to write a few posts, one specifically about the civil war memorial wall downtown of which I’ve got some really nice pictures.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But when I sat down to write them the ideas didn’t really make any sense so I’ll let things simmer a little bit longer and learn a little bit more about that whole aspect of life here before I try to dive in again.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Instead, I’ll give an update on the happenings of my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think most people know by now that I’ve got my own place and moved in a couple of weeks ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will take some pictures and post them soon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s got a beautiful courtyard with lots of trees, including a mango tree and a palm tree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The neighbours are pleasant and I only share my pila with my downstairs neighbours who are a mom and her two teenagers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For those of you who didn’t see my facebook post, this is a pila:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwZoi_2z_0bGYIFkECFJbSXQ5XmATNdXtu1vJ55Y1D3rbkEHOuMAn2rjgFfOTSXP4cHhZdZtY3NZNKMQQHHxpd7fY3QhsL6sB4iC1DaGp-BIDl3zUS83_pJZL0znjUY8kWw0xxn1KkpF_Q/s1600/pila.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhwZoi_2z_0bGYIFkECFJbSXQ5XmATNdXtu1vJ55Y1D3rbkEHOuMAn2rjgFfOTSXP4cHhZdZtY3NZNKMQQHHxpd7fY3QhsL6sB4iC1DaGp-BIDl3zUS83_pJZL0znjUY8kWw0xxn1KkpF_Q/s320/pila.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The instructions on the picture say it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I also have termites and cockroaches which I think are pretty common, but on top of everything else that I am learning now I have to figure out how to deal with this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I’m going to the hardware store to ask what I should do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Oh, and have been without water for a week although last night it was working again for half an hour, so I was able to take a shower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve mostly been taking buckets of water from the pila up to my shower and splashing myself off that way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At first I grumble about it and then I think about the people who work longer days than I do and are trying to raise families without having water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They say it’s going to be shut off for another 2 weeks with brief intervals of being on at night so that people can fill up their pila’s I guess.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Today at lunch I asked a coworker for instructions on how to get somewhere in the city on the bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I understood for the most part, except that I took it in the wrong direction!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So when I realized that I got off, asked someone on the street for directions and then got on another bus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They told me this bus would take me there but it didn’t.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So the bus driver gave me more directions, I got on another bus and eventually got to where I needed to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, once I had gotten what I needed and crossed the street to go back, there were no buses.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You’d think with the amount of times I’ve needed to get to ANADES I would remember the address by now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I never do, so there I am stammering away about this place I need to get to with yet another stranger on the street.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I must be getting fairly eloquent because he told me to walk down a few blocks and catch a different bus, which I did and which took me directly back to ANADES.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I was looking out the windows of the various buses to locate the places where people had told me to get off, all I could think was that I am happy and that I like living here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><!--EndFragment-->Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-38796860442272723042011-05-04T09:04:00.000-07:002011-05-04T09:05:52.432-07:00Traveling<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i>“It is better to travel well than to arrive.”<o:p></o:p></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i>Buddha<o:p></o:p></i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The past few days I’ve done a lot of traveling. It started with a road trip to Guatemala on Saturday with my jefes. I went along in order to get an extension on my visa at the immigration office in Guatemala. During the trip we realized that there might be some problems with getting my visa renewed in Guatemala, and decided that I should leave early on Monday morning for Mexico which is outside of the Central American Border Agreement and so by entering Mexico and then Guatemala again I could get another 90 day extension.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">On Sunday I went out for coffee and ice cream with two friends from Guatemala and had a good time catching up with them. Then I went to bed early so I could be up at 5 a.m. to start traveling. I took a bus to El Carmen which is on the Guatemalan side of the Mexican border and had a good conversation with the guy sitting next to me on the bus. He is Salvadoran but his mom lives in Guatemala and he came to visit her, and then will be making the trip back to Texas where his wife and children live. I can only imagine the trip that he’s got ahead of him. I got through customs at around 2:00 p.m. and hung around the Mexican side of the border for a while and was supposed to meet a friend of a friend there but for some reason that didn’t happen. It was raining pretty heavily so I ran to the closest restaurant and ate some tacos. I bided my time there for a couple of hours, not wanting to go straight back through customs again because I thought that might make them a bit suspicious. Around 4:00 I went back through customs and got my 90 day extension. There was only one bus company in El Carmen and they told me the earliest bus left at 10:30 pm. I chatted with some guy on the street who told me that if I took a microbus to Malacatal (about 40 minutes away) I might get an earlier bus back to Guatemala. So I tried that but by the time I got to Malacatal all the early buses had left and the next bus back to Guatemala was at midnight. I should mention that the microbus driver was a dink and charged me Q100 (around $10) for the trip, which is pretty much highway robbery but he was getting aggressive and I thought, “screw it, just pay and find something to eat”. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So I found a restaurant where I ate a hamburger and chatted with the owner for a couple of hours. We talked about my job (HIV prevention, teaching healthy sexuality, all that fun stuff) and about recent events in Guatemala. There is a national election here with 26 candidates running for president. One candidate is wife of the outgoing president who had to get a divorce from her husband in order to constitutionally be able to run. And I thought Canadian politics was a gong show. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">After that it was getting dark so I went and sat at the bus terminal which was just kind of an open room with a couple of chairs facing the street. I sat there for about 4 hours with nothing to do. Did I mention that I’ve got a really bad cold and am hacking up all kinds of stuff about every minute or so? Yeah, and I had run out of my cold meds and was very tired and miserable. At this point I had Joni Mitchel singing in my head about traveling on a lonely road and how negativity unravels joy. It’s funny how all the work I used to do as a mental health therapist with clients (and with myself) around mindfulness, especially in stressful circumstances, was so difficult to practice. Mindfulness is basically about being present and simply noticing situations, internal responses to the situations, etc. without letting your mind run away with them, which causes more stress and anxiety. But being mindful helped me put things in a little more perspective which was basically, “Lynden, in the big scheme of things you are still sucking air and nothing insurmountable is happening at this moment.” Ok. And at 12:30 a.m. I got on the bus, dozed on and off until Guatemala city (around 6 a.m.) and took a cab to my jefes house. They had been expecting me at midnight and so were really worried but hadn’t been able to call because my cellphone doesn’t work in Guatemala. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I slept a bit and then went to the office to check email and get a cash advance. Then I went to the bus station in Guatemala city around 2 pm, caught the bus out at 4:30 and arrived in San Salvador at 10:30 p.m. last night.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Have I mentioned how much I like El Salvador? Funny how it already feels like home. Once I get into the city I notice the landmarks, and once I get to something like El Salvador Del Mundo I know exactly where I am and how to get to where I want to go. On the other hand I always find traveling stressful because I don’t sleep well on buses, in airplanes or cars, trains, you get the picture. But there were some interesting and enjoyable points during the trip, mostly getting to talk to people along the way and hear about their lives.</div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-65664861590737719542011-04-15T14:57:00.000-07:002011-04-15T15:15:15.122-07:00A New Beginning<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> <!--StartFragment--> </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">A friend recently sent me this poem by John O'Donahue. It's called "For a New Beginning" and it expresses a lot of what was happening while I was making the decision to leave Canada. Here in El Salvador I've been taking the time to write posts when I'm sick which maybe translates into them being a bit negative and I don't mean for them to be. The truth is that I wouldn't trade where I'm at right now for anything. There is some risk, and definitely a new rhythm, to my life here. But more than anything, as O'Donahue writes, "my soul senses the world that awaits me."<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">For a New Beginning <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">In out-of-the-way places of the heart,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Where your thoughts never think to wander,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">This beginning has been quietly forming,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Waiting until you were ready to emerge. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">For a long time it has watched your desire,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Noticing how you willed yourself on,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Still unable to leave behind what you had outgrown. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">It watched you play with the seduction of safety,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">And the gray promises that sameness whispered,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Wondered would you always live like this. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Then the delight, when your courage kindled,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">And out you stepped onto new ground,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Your eyes young again with energy and dream,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">A path of plenitude opening before you. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Though your destination is not yet clear,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">You can trust the promise of this opening;<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">That is at one with your life´s desires. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Awaken your spirit to adventure;<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">Soon you will be home in a new rhythm,<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">For your soul senses the world that awaits you.<o:p></o:p></div><!--EndFragment--> </span><br />
<blockquote style="font-family: Helvetica;" type="cite"></blockquote>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-47072625735857816732011-03-29T08:30:00.000-07:002011-03-29T10:52:06.756-07:00That's how the light gets in<div class="MsoNormal">Once again I am sitting in the ANADES office. Alone. It’s 20 minutes past the time everyone is supposed to be here and they are always very punctual. This tells me that, a) it’s Saturday (which it’s not), or, b) once again I have missed some information about when and where I am supposed to be. But this time I have an excuse because I was sitting in my room sick most of the day yesterday and don’t remember anyone saying anything about this morning. Most likely they forgot about me and since there is no-one here to get any direction from at the moment, I’ll be creatively productive and write another post.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A few things that I’ve been thinking about recently are homesickness, ordered/disordered attachment (even though social workers aren’t supposed to say things like disordered attachment), and being a privileged guest in an unprivileged society.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m sometimes asked if and when I get homesick. I feel like I haven’t been gone long enough to have had really strong pangs of homesickness, but I’ve noticed that when I’m sick I do miss the comforts and familiarity of home. I miss sitting on a nice clean couch in front of my own big TV and drinking Canada Dry ginger ale. I miss having someone to call up and not only be able to say “I’m sick, I think I ate something bad”, but being able to go into vivid detail about exactly how sick I am. I also miss the last day or two of being sick when I feel good enough to truck out to mom and dad’s house and have someone make me soup and listen to me whine. Just so I don’t come across as completely egotistical, I’ll say that there are times when I am feeling good and also wish I could sit in my parents’ living room just to hang out when it’s not all about me. But the feelings are definitely stronger when I get sick. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Which leads to attachment. I like to think I have fairly ordered attachment but when I was away this weekend and got sick, instead of missing “home” I was missing my little dormroom at ANADES where I have been all of 2 weeks. It got me thinking about the little kids I used to work with at Children’s Services who were in such a state of instability that they would form superficial attachments within very brief periods of time, knowing from experience that their living situation would probably change again shortly. When I accepted this assignment I knew I’d be in Pennsylvania for 2 weeks, then Guatemala for 3 months, then in El Salvador for 3 years. I didn’t know that I’d have two placements in Guatemala, or that once I got to El Salvador I’d be living in limbo for what looks like might be a while, not knowing when or where I’ll be living next. And so here I was, missing a little dormroom because after two weeks in the midst of lots of confusion, uncertainty and what sometimes doesn’t feel like much support from anyone, at least the dormroom feels like something familiar.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And lastly, at the end of the day, despite accepting and not judging my responses to life in central America, I need to realize that I have chosen this. And I was able to choose this because of a lot of privilege like race, socio-economic status, education, place of birth… you get the picture. This hit home yesterday afternoon when I told my supervisor that I was sick and he got really concerned and took me to the ANADES health clinic. There I was given a pitcher of coconut milk, some little pills (no idea what they are), a bottle of homeopathic gastrointestinal medicine which went a long way in soothing my stomach, and everything I need to get tested to see what’s wrong with my stomach (I won’t elaborate). </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As I, a white privileged stranger in a very unprivileged society, was sitting there being taken care of by kind and caring people, I felt really humbled. I live in Mejicanos, an area of San Salvador where there is a lot of poverty, including children and adults who can’t have basic health needs met. And I felt like here I am, not being able to contribute anything, and just taking resources away from a place that has few. I could justify it by saying that in the end MCC probably reimburses my expenses and that within some time I will be contributing. But as they were helping me and providing for my needs, there was no sense that they were thinking, “who is this silly gringo who talks like a 3 year old and thinks he’s helping us?” Nope. They were kind and patient and giving. So with that in mind I will keep plugging away at learning Spanish, I will practice being patient with my living situation, I will keep trying to connect with local people instead of searching out other north Americans, and I will continue to participate whenever and wherever I can, even when it hurts. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This is from Leonard Cohen’s “Anthem”:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i>Ring the bells that still can ring<o:p></o:p></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i>Forget your perfect offering<o:p></o:p></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i>There is a crack in everything<o:p></o:p></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><i>That is how the light gets in.<o:p></o:p></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-86551914097098221382011-03-20T21:48:00.000-07:002011-03-20T21:48:30.778-07:00Being a messenger of peace<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">I’m sitting at the ANADES guesthouse getting ready for another week of work after a relaxing weekend.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve noticed that once I’ve dived into the week and am surrounded by the work and the people I’m working with, things are fine and I get by with my limited language skills.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s the time for reflection during the weekend that is a bit more difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Take for example my mild panic attack this afternoon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was watching a movie that I normally would enjoy, but today I couldn’t really get into it because my mind was thinking about too many things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I paused it halfway through to go get some pop, came back to watch it again, and then started to feel really anxious.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I realized that even though I really have nothing to worry about in the big scheme of things, I was (am) nervous about facing another full week of constantly straining to understand every second or third word, and then based on that, choosing the most likely of the possible things that are being said to me, and then coming up with a response that makes some grammatical sense.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll stress that in my mind this all needs to be done in a very short period of time so that nobody clues in to how completely lost I am in this country and this language.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So then I plugged in my Rosetta Stone computer Spanish course which really doesn’t help at all except to prove to myself that I am doing everything I can to make this work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then as I write this I am thinking, “so what happens if you come across as weak or not in control or scared?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s easy enough to say (theoretically) that I am working with people who face poverty and weakness and probably fear on a regular basis, and what do I think I can possibly share with these people if I can’t recognize and accept those things in my own life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s an entirely different thing to intentionally shed the mask of control and accept that I will screw up many times.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This past Friday ANADES had a service/mass in honour of Oscar Romero, who I’ve written about in the past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We reflected on a question by Romero that had to do with what it means to be a messenger of hope, today, in our everyday lives and the lives of the people we interact with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, I certainly don’t have any shiny new techniques that I can pull out of my toolkit and start social working people in Spanish with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At this point I think all I may have is my wit and charm (which, truth be told, haven’t really opened too many doors yet) and my ignorance of their language, history and culture.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it possible for me to be a messenger of hope by accepting my weakness and allowing them to teach me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hopefully.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For starters, it might help to put us on more equal ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may also give others a belief in their own gifts as they teach me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Maybe things this week will be alright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe I’ll fall flat on my face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe somewhere in between those two I’ll spend less time worrying about losing face and more time enjoying the time I have with the people here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I think about being here in El Salvador, I can’t believe how lucky I am to have been given this opportunity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ll close with a quote from Oscar Romero:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;">"Beautiful is the moment in which we understand that we are no more than an instrument of God; we live only as long as God wants us to live; we can only do as much as God makes us able to do; we are only as intelligent as God would have us be"<o:p></o:p></div><!--EndFragment-->Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-2403034100994933302011-03-16T19:57:00.000-07:002011-03-17T16:14:56.349-07:00El SalvadorAt long last, I am posting from my new home in San Salvador, El Salvador. I'm currently in the Mejicanos district of San Salvador which is where the partner organization ANADES is located. Here are some pics of ANADES and the surrounding community of Mejicanos:<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The main gates of the ANADES compound</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The guesthouse at ANADES where I've been staying the past few days</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The streets of Mejicanos...</td></tr>
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDp11YOG79ZFIQT5E0LnRD1fmtG4_bdJ13p8Ne-cc8b8OJwOdK-_ZBZ8En4XN18UGKPo3Y359T1LTR44j774p0ez5qjoSaAHnEjmz6qqMA7o3vgzX0T9AnxICwzXnvVoeL2u-tihsejJgD/s1600/DSCN0660.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTh_YQmkksTSbRvJt6A3ojEs-5nPsUTo1tgNfjoGLNp6kt8u-tZoNBDZdK78GRUm0BLKj619mVUDNa6SyxmAIgZS-bWimGmeKgT2wGSmQ_OGQ3C5DhRfOxcghyaKzqWZlplWagAYJymsWC/s1600/DSCN0659.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTh_YQmkksTSbRvJt6A3ojEs-5nPsUTo1tgNfjoGLNp6kt8u-tZoNBDZdK78GRUm0BLKj619mVUDNa6SyxmAIgZS-bWimGmeKgT2wGSmQ_OGQ3C5DhRfOxcghyaKzqWZlplWagAYJymsWC/s320/DSCN0659.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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I've been promising pictures of San Julian where I will be working and where I thought I would be living for the next three years. Turns out it's gotten quite dangerous and they want me living in San Salvador, at least for the first while. Anyway, I didn't get any pics of San Julian but this is the finca that I've described in the past:<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRPwH5VXMA_00ZyfhvQOu7x-eQ7VrJrh37fsoSclxulUC6y4FM1oRbt5jqzTBCtAzzyE0k0K9pcCKajIsTjImksdw7z4KG8LZhx-ncen8rPk3tA04DGHKUjwJUgXPBmMjaq3Air7Qr3nGZ/s1600/DSCN0656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRPwH5VXMA_00ZyfhvQOu7x-eQ7VrJrh37fsoSclxulUC6y4FM1oRbt5jqzTBCtAzzyE0k0K9pcCKajIsTjImksdw7z4KG8LZhx-ncen8rPk3tA04DGHKUjwJUgXPBmMjaq3Air7Qr3nGZ/s320/DSCN0656.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The finca San Jorge outside of San Julian</td></tr>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp9icsxFOyZg1BbV4xvyD4CjTMkag5HZDzjjOPQpGo4JJEWUxUF6txTR5ROFneOE4weCIF3u_HI161OHp_cLxwrUzITZ-o1QW1qrVQzaBnnafPvRwvaHpZTtPDQdT6zqVQL-_CAb1Q-dXZ/s1600/DSCN0658.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp9icsxFOyZg1BbV4xvyD4CjTMkag5HZDzjjOPQpGo4JJEWUxUF6txTR5ROFneOE4weCIF3u_HI161OHp_cLxwrUzITZ-o1QW1qrVQzaBnnafPvRwvaHpZTtPDQdT6zqVQL-_CAb1Q-dXZ/s320/DSCN0658.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4EOFnRQJUELSJ1NB4jkoREuLguPBaEzkwIu7tHrCRe5rFj41UNHOPB_VK1KVmQzqJv40jtq2g76dtntjEmi_7sP4mAZKIHGvq70R0hYPnvPMtybjprx7_RXAXeknRo7hV0mCjCKNnukRD/s1600/DSCN0649.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4EOFnRQJUELSJ1NB4jkoREuLguPBaEzkwIu7tHrCRe5rFj41UNHOPB_VK1KVmQzqJv40jtq2g76dtntjEmi_7sP4mAZKIHGvq70R0hYPnvPMtybjprx7_RXAXeknRo7hV0mCjCKNnukRD/s320/DSCN0649.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The countryside surrounding the finca at the end of the dry season, you can imagine what this looks like when it's all green and fertile</td></tr>
</tbody></table>So I am too tired at this moment to describe in any depth what the past week has been like. Suffice to say I took three buses this morning to the central terminal, then an hour long bus ride where I got off at a pothole in the rode, then climbed onto the back of a few pickups, then climbed up a mountain for half an hour in insane heat and humidity, then helped to deliver two workshops in Spanish, then did the whole trip back in reverse. I'm not complaining, and a lot of the day I'm really enjoying it, but I am too tired to think at the end of the day...<br />
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And with that said, good night and maybe I'll post something more intelligent next week!<br />
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</div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-35067886101168601742011-03-03T10:20:00.000-08:002011-03-03T14:47:13.533-08:00Sightseeing in GuatemalaI finally got around to uploading the pictures off my camera from the last month. I'm sure people from home often wonder exactly what it looks like in Central America so here are some pictures to give a bit more of an idea.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1VaO9MNmVo7bYaB6JJMnLHo1ISd45uuzhdNJ0lYZtmugM6q9052D4ieJHicoOeUKBWnQIzs1hxO7S4kkxDTDztLnbuTxJqucZrbJtOGGVxLkUhmDCVJZSRA8JbJNU_rYhgZ0JQL9q-4y_/s1600/Panchita+and+Me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1VaO9MNmVo7bYaB6JJMnLHo1ISd45uuzhdNJ0lYZtmugM6q9052D4ieJHicoOeUKBWnQIzs1hxO7S4kkxDTDztLnbuTxJqucZrbJtOGGVxLkUhmDCVJZSRA8JbJNU_rYhgZ0JQL9q-4y_/s320/Panchita+and+Me.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Panchita, my Spanish teacher, and I</td></tr>
</tbody></table>Here are some pics from Alta Verapaz where I spent last weekend for an MCC team meeting. We spent our fun day tubing on the river that flows through the caves. I didn't want to get my camera wet so I don't have pics from inside the cave but I think someone else took some pics with their water-proof camera so if I can get copies of those I'll post them at some point.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Se4rSfs0W-F2wtW1gVN5BJ1lKK5ZbeE0CLk1fiheIeDLhzFIcicUQ7nqM_LycP44mMVD7zNtKVjmmBHqH5fU65NJJ20fD7huQ9q-WLjZ9ga0N6urvFDDNE_f7Nqp42pCD_dqToHhTXPH/s1600/Alta+Verapaz+Me+Road.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2Se4rSfs0W-F2wtW1gVN5BJ1lKK5ZbeE0CLk1fiheIeDLhzFIcicUQ7nqM_LycP44mMVD7zNtKVjmmBHqH5fU65NJJ20fD7huQ9q-WLjZ9ga0N6urvFDDNE_f7Nqp42pCD_dqToHhTXPH/s320/Alta+Verapaz+Me+Road.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me on the back of our "taxi" driving to the caves</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhelsRxR71K1lb7ehC9KqN3WSctU-ak3-RDejD4gDdE-i-6lSHOouNntcuvFq-auWTTSPiJCGXO_0zw0TWceLuyn4Az_enIG8ILE2qOOvk_Ta599cIPZxhusJ30vJe7pGnqO_ZpqE11IHV0/s1600/Alta+Verapaz+Country+Side.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhelsRxR71K1lb7ehC9KqN3WSctU-ak3-RDejD4gDdE-i-6lSHOouNntcuvFq-auWTTSPiJCGXO_0zw0TWceLuyn4Az_enIG8ILE2qOOvk_Ta599cIPZxhusJ30vJe7pGnqO_ZpqE11IHV0/s320/Alta+Verapaz+Country+Side.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Country-side in Alta Verapaz</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixjeUr86UwWMn2YLm3E9EXTyfLH3p9cocs8xyLUurXmg-8kRYyxKR3Vlv0JjHMeo5Poq-4ivRFB1TvHigUcpRkbIlVrl2bDUbwFNCHImzpyYtkmp3hvzFcZzhyphenhyphenKU_1Yc2h9xHJQwHLgA_o/s1600/Alta+Verapaz+Road.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixjeUr86UwWMn2YLm3E9EXTyfLH3p9cocs8xyLUurXmg-8kRYyxKR3Vlv0JjHMeo5Poq-4ivRFB1TvHigUcpRkbIlVrl2bDUbwFNCHImzpyYtkmp3hvzFcZzhyphenhyphenKU_1Yc2h9xHJQwHLgA_o/s320/Alta+Verapaz+Road.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">House of a campesino</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1NtVD8ehdo67wgzjCKaWVLjsji1UFZ0d3cyIoGWTF0MfwfBPm0e1JHNZv96VRAiTcprdjRUgyxTPdAqiPiwLA2QAV8mm9asf69c16id7t2xlj0PAbz4cPllAJCOwxJ831XSPgEx4Iqg1J/s1600/Alta+Verapaz+Trail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1NtVD8ehdo67wgzjCKaWVLjsji1UFZ0d3cyIoGWTF0MfwfBPm0e1JHNZv96VRAiTcprdjRUgyxTPdAqiPiwLA2QAV8mm9asf69c16id7t2xlj0PAbz4cPllAJCOwxJ831XSPgEx4Iqg1J/s320/Alta+Verapaz+Trail.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some of the team making our way down to the caves</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-LuyueE9XzcrI2wzTQ-VdtvD4Nir_2ZvdAvf9ZPpB6olOakRgSoreS6Kpu_g4dqw9HzufCWb5LOuaUP_2bWStFrDBqs1c-MEjDrXAE_5SUOUegPQ7IOz45WS19aj36QRVIbaGaYDYvU5y/s1600/Alta+Verapaz+Cave.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-LuyueE9XzcrI2wzTQ-VdtvD4Nir_2ZvdAvf9ZPpB6olOakRgSoreS6Kpu_g4dqw9HzufCWb5LOuaUP_2bWStFrDBqs1c-MEjDrXAE_5SUOUegPQ7IOz45WS19aj36QRVIbaGaYDYvU5y/s320/Alta+Verapaz+Cave.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Entrance to one of the caves</td></tr>
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About a month ago I went along on a sightseeing tour of Guatemala city with a Canadian school group that was here doing a learning and serving tour. I got some pictures of the dump where some of the poorest people in the city spend their day scavenging for things to possibly sell later.<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilOf4DY7i7m3FcWK7_gAGB68DNImBfoU2wRoLHtLCE8ojBfzoy2o5TxAjeQLqDfKWV90Bk6ZY0F3tL0H42YONOcph-ZV-xegXbe1p_og2kH1PsbvssQB5YraTA9gXieRZ3yyhZ0UkZW05j/s1600/Dump+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilOf4DY7i7m3FcWK7_gAGB68DNImBfoU2wRoLHtLCE8ojBfzoy2o5TxAjeQLqDfKWV90Bk6ZY0F3tL0H42YONOcph-ZV-xegXbe1p_og2kH1PsbvssQB5YraTA9gXieRZ3yyhZ0UkZW05j/s320/Dump+1.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The dump</td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRML7O15gY0JFCkfbWh7HLK-M7xRyYqbY0pf7Jl3zJBAHbprl1dVr6SMJDSzyDLQaZaZ8dNbhm9_gC1MYnv9M5Xt-5-aldshlAPma1Vioze5Dhu4ObzIAfm_LJ-RKQAKN12Us-zSne8PvS/s1600/Dump+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRML7O15gY0JFCkfbWh7HLK-M7xRyYqbY0pf7Jl3zJBAHbprl1dVr6SMJDSzyDLQaZaZ8dNbhm9_gC1MYnv9M5Xt-5-aldshlAPma1Vioze5Dhu4ObzIAfm_LJ-RKQAKN12Us-zSne8PvS/s320/Dump+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The city that has built itself around the dump</td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
One thing about the dump that I learned is that there used to be a whole squatter town built up right around the dump but the government forced them away. So now they've built higher up.<br />
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And last but not least, I went with a group of American university students on a field trip to the zoo. Although I'm not a fan of animals living their lives in cages I was pleasantly surprised at the quality of the Guatemala City zoo.<br />
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<br />
I'll be leaving for El Salvador on either monday or tuesday next week (i.e. 4 or 5 days) and am getting very anxious to go. I'm having a going away supper tomorrow with some of the other MCC'ers here in the city. One is from a mennonite colony in Paraguay and the other is from the states but grew up eating some "Mennonite" food as well. We went shopping this morning and bought what we needed (or as close as we could find) to make verenikya. Our country reps who are from Colombia will be coming as well and claim to be excited to try our creation. <br />
<br />
The next time I post I will most likely be somewhere off the beaten tracks in El Salvador. It's been almost a year now that I've known I'll be living in El Salvador, so you can imagine how ready I am to finally be there. Deséame suerte (wish me luck)!Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-43507817596040822252011-02-21T10:31:00.001-08:002011-02-22T09:13:22.294-08:00Ups and downs of language immersionI was talking with a friend yesterday who had moved to Canada 15 years ago and began learning English from scratch while living there. She mentioned that her language learning was filled with inclines where she could learn new material, and plateaus where her brain couldn't absorb anything else and she was forced just to use and integrate the language she already had, regardless of how painful it could be. This was good to hear because at school I keep cramming more grammar structures into my brain, and am currently working on the subjunctive which is very common in Spanish. It's something like when we say in English "I wish I knew". But it seems like the more I try to cram into my brain, the more falls out. And so at this point I'm stuck just trying to use what I know, regardless of how frustrating it can be. Take for example the verbs "ser" and "estar" which both mean "to be" but are not interchangeable. Each one has two forms in the past tense (preterito and imperfecto) which also are not interchangeable, so when I want to say "I was..." I am stuck trying to remember which one of the four verbs (fui? era? estuve? estaba?) I should use. My mac has that little spiral spinning thing that lets me know when it's overloaded and can't process any more. I'm pretty sure my glazed-over eyes give the same signal to people when I just don't understand or can't communicate what I'm trying to say.<br />
<br />
The other thing is that I have days where I can have interesting conversations in Spanish (for example friday evening with a guatemalteco who's a friend of mine here) for hours at a time, and then it's like my brain is completely used up and I can't remember how to say, "good morning" at the breakfast table the next day.<br />
<br />
Other little things also get on my nerves. Like when another gringo who has lived in central america for 5 years says something in Spanish that is obviously more fluent than mine and everyone here is so impressed with how intelligent this person is, I feel like beating their heads together. But I think that might go against the MCC mission of peace. So instead I smile and meekly agree.<br />
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On the other hand, I feel completely free of malaria or whatever it was that left me a feverish mess for four weeks. I know I lost a lot of motivation during that time but that's another story. I'm trying to think of a nice uplifting wrap up to this post but I can't really. Just waiting and looking forward to the next bunch of changes that will be happening in about 2 weeks.Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-2982795888603109962011-02-01T09:42:00.000-08:002011-02-01T09:42:43.516-08:00Happy Birthday to meThanks everyone for all the email and facebook happy birthday messages today! <br />
So this year for my birthday I seem to have gotten a special present... malaria. Remember when I was sick as a dog for about two weeks and went to a doctor who told me it was an intestinal infection gone bad and gave me antibiotics but the antibiotics weren't fighting it? Well I went to a specialist (internal medicine) at the best hospital in Guatemala at the end of last week when I had finished the antibiotics and wasn't any better and he is convinced that I have malaria. It can show up quite a bit later after the mosquito bite so I'm pretty sure I got it in El Salvador over Christmas. The problem is that I don't have a positive blood test because apparently the malaria bugs are only detectable in the blood when there is a fever, and even though I had 2 blood tests done, I didn't have a fever either time because the fever is unpredictable and comes and goes at strange times. So now I am just sweating a lot at night and pretty tired during the day. The family I live with is really nice and they repeatedly tell me that if I ever wake up in the middle of the night from a fever I am supposed to wake them up so we can drive down to the emergency room and get my blood test. So now I am just waiting for the fever to come back so that I can get the blood test because apparently you can't get the malaria meds without one. What a fiasco.<br />
I am partly frustrated because I missed some classes over the last two weeks and even when I was at school I didn't have the energy to do much so I feel like I've been at a standstill in my Spanish learning. On the bright side I like where I am living, the family owns a restaurant out of their home so there are lots of different people in and out which is giving me opportunities to practice speaking in Spanish with lots of different people. And my host mom is a great cook and she was asking me what my favourite foods are yesterday (I said lasagna or mexican food and chocolate cake) so we'll see what's in store for me this evening!<br />
And I've had some other friends here in Guatemala talk about getting together this week so I think that will be fun.Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-5625554950291536192011-01-23T14:41:00.000-08:002011-01-23T14:41:42.397-08:00CH CH CH CH CHANGES<!--StartFragment--> <br />
<div class="MsoNormal">Yes, it’s true, I’m in the middle of changes again, with more to come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl3vxEudif8">Here's some entertainment on the theme of changes</a></span> while you are perusing the rest of my post.</div><div class="MsoNormal">This past week I’ve been incredibly sick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It started last Saturday, January 15, after a day downtown.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I came home with a bit of a headache around 6:00 p.m. and by 8:00 I was feverish, sweating, shaking and freezing cold.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The fever stuck around for quite a few days and on Wednesday I finally went to the doctor who told me that it was caused by an intestinal infection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Funny because throughout this whole week my stomach is actually the only thing that’s been feeling ok.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The doctor put me on antibiotics (again) and yesterday and today I've finally started to feel better but it is slow going.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to miss some days of language class which is very frustrating but I on the up side I do think I’m on the mend.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Because of a scheduling conflict at the school I had to switch teachers on Friday so that’s another adjustment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have also switched home stays and have been staying at the guest house for a few days while that sorts itself out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All this while bearing in mind that I’m only here until the beginning of March, at which time there will be many more changes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal">As I understand the plan, I’ll start off my time in El Salvador by spending a week in orientation with ANADES at their main centre in Mejicanos (San Salvador).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will be the same place I spent my first week in San Salvador in November (wow that feels like a long time ago already!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That will be followed by a further week of orientation around San Julian which is the community I’ll be based out of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>During that week I’ll be staying at the coffee plantation that ANADES runs, and I’m guessing that some time after that is when I’ll be looking for a room of my own to (finally?) settle into for the next three years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Or at least I can always hope!</div><div class="MsoNormal">I don’t have any pics of San Julian or the finca (coffee plantation) because I forgot my camera when I was there, so all I can offer is a description of the place. San Julian itself strikes me as a beautiful, quiet, colonial mountain village. There is a well-taken care of central square in front of a pretty white church. The rest of the town also seems to have some cool community arts kinds of projects which I think could be fun to partner with. When I was traveling around my first week with ANADES staff we arrived at San Julian one day and as we were driving into the market square I thought, "If I could choose to live anywhere it would look like this". I'm not even making that up. Then a few days later someone mentioned to me that most likely I'd be based out of San Julian. I've been taking that as a good omen.</div><div class="MsoNormal">The finca is a ten or fifteen minute drive up the mountain on very rough roads. Once you get up there you've got a view of paradise. The finca sits on a mountain side so there are views of tropical mountains and valleys as far as you can see. There is already a restaurant and some guest houses and ANADES I think may be investing in a bit more eco-tourism in this spot which is good for anyone thinking about coming to visit me.</div><div class="MsoNormal">So that's where things are at so far. It's hard not to look ahead to March and instead to try to focus on moving to another family tomorrow and hopefully being able to learn lots from them about the language and culture here. I'm nervous for tomorrow because there are so many things I don't understand which can make things very awkward! But it's all a learning experience and I know more than I did two months ago. </div><div class="MsoNormal">So here's to tomorrow, and to the many changes ahead! Wish me luck :-)</div><div class="MsoNormal">Lynden</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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</div><!--EndFragment-->Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-62434106622954166872011-01-04T12:09:00.000-08:002011-01-04T12:09:22.941-08:00Recapping 2010, looking forward to 2011<div class="MsoNormal">I haven’t written much lately because I don’t feel like I have a whole lot to say but I will try to give some sort of an update anyway.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So to recap 2010…</div><ul style="margin-top: 0in;" type="disc"><li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">I finished my master’s,</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">quit my job,</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">left my family,</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">gave away my dog,</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">sold almost everything I own including my jeep,</li>
<li class="MsoNormal" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; tab-stops: list .5in;">rented out my place (is this starting to sound like a country song?)</li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal">…all for the adventure of a lifetime to rough it in central America. And you know what, I’m not one bit sorry.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Most likely I’m still in the upward swing/honeymoon phase of culture shock (been there before) so cheers to psychological defense mechanisms. But that’s not to say there haven’t been difficulties, especially wanting to be with family over the holidays, and spending the last 6 weeks talking like a 3 year old and often feeling like one. Despite this, I am still excited to continue learning Spanish and am very excited for the time when I’ll be in El Salvador working with local communities there. I’ve dreamed about doing international aid work for years and so this is a dream come true.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">As for hopes for the future, I would really like to make some local friends, and I’ll be here for 2 more months so I think that should be possible, I’m just finding it hard to meet local people because there are so many security issues I always have to be aware of and they really limit me sometimes. I want to build up enough tolerance to local food so I don’t have to keep taking antibiotics. I want to work like crazy at Spanish so that I can have the advanced level completed by the time I go to El Salvador. By the time I leave I want to watch a movie in Spanish at the theatre without subtitles and be able to pretty well understand what’s going on. I want to have my reading comprehension high enough that I can read something by Carlos Zafon (one of my favourite Spanish authors) and not have to pull out my dictionary at every other word. I’d also love it if someone from home were able to visit by Christmas time next year, so I’ll wait and see about that.</div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-59377702123004722992010-11-30T10:51:00.000-08:002010-12-31T12:09:21.396-08:00Odds and Ends<div class="MsoNormal">I don’t think there will be much of a coherent theme to this post, just more or less a bit of updating.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Things with the host family in Guatemala are going well. They are an older couple who speak about 10 words of English, the rest is pure Spanish. Because they try to throw in English words sometimes I’m not sure if they’re really speaking Spanish when a word is similar to English. Pretty much all the words they know in English I know in Spanish so I keep trying to get them to speak only Spanish. The problem is that they blurt out a really quick stream of words and when I ask them (in Spanish) to please say it slower, they resort to using simple English words that have very little to do with what they originally said. I have started saying “No hablo Ingles… me no speak no English!” They laugh at that and are maybe getting the point. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">School unfortunately hasn’t been going quite as well. I’m struggling with the teacher they assigned me but I should be getting a new one tomorrow. I hope that doesn’t mean starting over at the beginning but it will use up a bit more time and I haven’t been progressing as much as I could be as it is.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Also, I decided to use the Christmas break to go with another MCC’er to Belize. We are going to travel around Belize and hit the beaches for Christmas which should be pretty fun. I had saved up some money from when I was working for various things and a few vacations were included in that. Since I don’t feel like spending my Christmas here only understanding a smattering of Spanish this seemed like a good idea.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This past weekend we went on a team retreat to Antigua, about 45 minutes away from Guatemala City. It’s a beautiful old colonial town and I think a UNESCO world heritage site. For anyone who makes the jaunt to Central America to visit me, Antigua (despite the hoards of tourists) will be on the itinerary.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m having some bouts of missing home (not High Level!) but all in all am glad to be here. I haven’t made much in the way of friends which is a bit lonely but I do have the team here and I’m getting to know some of them. I went to my country leaders’ house yesterday and learned to make pupusas which is the El Salvadoran national food so when I go back to Canada you’ll all be eating them.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Oh, and I bought a guitar yesterday. It should be fun learning how to play Central American folk songs. Here is a sample of what you’ll be hearing me play soon! It’s called <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04XLZAKqxJQ&feature=related">All I Ask of God</a> and it is like an unofficial anthem in El Salvador. You can find an English translation <a href="http://lyricstranslate.com/en/solo-le-pido-dos-all-i-ask-god.html">here</a>.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>**I wanted to add/edit that when I say I don't miss High Level I mean I don't miss the stress I had. Some of my best friends were/are there and I definitely do miss them!</i> </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 13.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-74007641754830673752010-11-17T13:20:00.000-08:002010-11-18T05:58:29.011-08:00A Future Not My Own<div class="MsoNormal">In the midst of all my verb memorization I thought I’d take some time out to do a little bit of an update:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I had the opportunity to spend last week with the guy who is currently doing the HIV educator position in El Salvador. I had a really great time and saw a lot of the country side which, in terms of sheer beauty, comes close to paradise. ANADES, the partner organization I’ll be working with directly is mostly focused on children’s health (including a free medical clinic) and education and they have a fair trade coffee plantation which supplements the cost of their children’s programming. However, they also do other community development work and that’s the department I’ll be in. I got to meet some of the people (mostly women) receiving support from the AIDS support program. Many were infected by husbands who have either subsequently left or died. I got a sense of lots of systemic injustice and discrimination including local doctors who switch antiretroviral meds on patients which takes years off their lives simply because they don’t take the time to keep their supplies stocked, even though the drugs are free through the UN, or they even refuse to give basic medical service, refuse to give common decency like shaking hands with clients and workers because of discrimination, etc. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Before I left El Salvador on Sunday to come back to Guatemala for language school, I had a chance to attend a celebration/memorial mass on Saturday night for 6 Jesuit priests who were massacred by the Salvadorian military (heavily funded by the American government). Here’s a bit of background:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 15.0pt; margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: ArialMT;"><i><b>On November 16, 1989, six Jesuit priests - Ignacio Ellacuria, Segundo Montes, Ignacio Martin-Baro, Joaquin Lopez y Lopez, Juan Ramon Moreno, and Amado Lopez - were murdered by the Salvadoran military on the campus of the University of Central America (UCA) in San Salvador, El Salvador. Their housekeeper, Elba Ramos, and her daughter Celia Marisela Ramos, were murdered there as well. The Jesuits were labeled subversives by the Salvadoran Government for speaking out against the oppressive socioeconomic structure of Salvadoran society. Their assassinations were ordered for their unwavering defense of the poor.<o:p></o:p></b></i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: ArialMT;"><i><b>The Jesuits were six of over 70,000 victims who died in El Salvador’s civil war which raged in the 1980’s and early 1990’s. The vast majority of these victims were civilians killed by El Salvador’s armed forces and paramilitary death squads. The death of the Jesuits brought international outrage and condemnation upon the Salvadoran Government and pressured them to negotiate an end to their country’s civil war.</b></i><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The mass, which started off with a march around the UCA campus, also celebrated the life and witness of Archbishop Oscar Romero who was similarly assassinated for his very vocal opposition to the oppression by the military and the oligarchy in El Salvador, as well as other institutions including the church when they neglect their duty to stand in solidarity with the poor. After the march and the mass, they have a couple bands play. I stuck around for a bit but I had to go home around midnight because I needed to be up at 4:30 to catch my bus out to Guatemala. I hear later into the night it gets really fun with people dancing in the street. Too bad I missed that but I plan to stick around for the whole thing next year.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">One of the MCC Staff back in Pennsylvania sent me a poem by Oscar Romero that sums up some of what I hope to understand at it’s most fundamental level during my time here. It is:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">A FUTURE NOT OUR OWN <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It helps, now and then, to step back <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And take the long view. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It is beyond our vision.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The magnificent enterprise that is God’s work. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Nothing we do is complete, <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Which is another way of saying <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">That the kingdom always lies beyond us. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No statement says all that could be said. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No prayer fully expresses our faith. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No confession brings perfection… <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">No set of goals and objectives includes everything. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This is what we are about: <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We plant seeds that one day will grow. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We water seeds already planted, <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Knowing that they hold future promise. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We lay foundations that will need further development. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We cannot do everything <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And there is a sense of liberation realizing that. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">This enables us to do something, <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">And to do it very well. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">An opportunity for God’s grace to enter and do the rest. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We may never see the end results… <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 12.0pt; mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We are prophets of a future not our own.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>(Archbishop Oscar Romero of El Salvador, who was assassinated for speaking up for God's Kingdom and justice in 1980.)</i></span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Images of the civil war, and the thousands of lives it cost are everywhere. Even though the war is over in a technical sense, it lives on and is felt in systemic injustice by, for example, women who don’t have access to basic health care and are thwarted in their attempts to stay alive just so that they can eek out an existence for themselves and their children. So to step back, take the long view, and think about planting seeds for a future not my own is confusing. But, like Romero says, it’s also liberating. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Enough said. I have to get back to my verbs.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Preguntar (ask!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Jugar (play!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Soñar (dream!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Dar (give!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Llorar (cry!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Gritar (scream!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Cantar (sing!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Construiur (build!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Preguntar (ask… again!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Plantar (plant!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Trabajar (work!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Reir (laugh!)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Bailar (dance!)</span><o:p></o:p></div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-87398814636487543232010-10-24T16:57:00.000-07:002010-10-24T16:57:25.511-07:00NYC and a message of hope<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrCXeJVgiYHE4hiGB6TAbeq1Q1QaQimRfzLVY1TaqO7HTnnfmaKYb_QVH5py4qfZ0zQAvryzeeuoAtVOKTowCXwXDP6725nidnecGQg53PrzZBkV_L4X0JfWrsgt9Kj_ejHQ5UCGvSB2ou/s1600/wicked_logo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjrCXeJVgiYHE4hiGB6TAbeq1Q1QaQimRfzLVY1TaqO7HTnnfmaKYb_QVH5py4qfZ0zQAvryzeeuoAtVOKTowCXwXDP6725nidnecGQg53PrzZBkV_L4X0JfWrsgt9Kj_ejHQ5UCGvSB2ou/s200/wicked_logo.jpg" width="125" /></a></div>Yesterday I went with some fellow orientee's to New York City for the day. When I first found out about the trip I decided that I would plan to do just a few things there instead of trying to cram too much in, so I booked myself tickets to Wicked , a broadway musical about the "untold" story of the wicked witch of the west. The underlying message of the musical was about history being the story told by whoever comes out on top. I quite agree.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Before that I also spent some time wandering around central park. I was surprised at how huge the park actually is and I managed to lose my way a few times before finding my way back out. Here are some images from the park:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6sy1K4N6uprTe-zyDaIBdgYTAAeuTrUxhUykaPnvF-vwMK2wKmOxkpQEIrLgubAwaHyZJ0Wl8vRY10KP2nbxZ5fUBZ9Z-PDD8-qlP8zpot2PjHhIeM2fx4LoVHn-iwWS3uBRLKfG-4pDo/s1600/NYC+II.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6sy1K4N6uprTe-zyDaIBdgYTAAeuTrUxhUykaPnvF-vwMK2wKmOxkpQEIrLgubAwaHyZJ0Wl8vRY10KP2nbxZ5fUBZ9Z-PDD8-qlP8zpot2PjHhIeM2fx4LoVHn-iwWS3uBRLKfG-4pDo/s320/NYC+II.JPG" width="320" /></a> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQgXtTrLTNEJPIL_e1b8Xg5gR41gQMicLJyc5ADnRVlVm0bK3u4VDoyp4apvEZ_mGtDeER1nSz5x1k4gDobaqczBLAqLqvrqa-1vgHtLgZvbQ1ZZcQATN0RsGlcH39IY6I8vKDv5RdY2Va/s1600/NYC+I.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQgXtTrLTNEJPIL_e1b8Xg5gR41gQMicLJyc5ADnRVlVm0bK3u4VDoyp4apvEZ_mGtDeER1nSz5x1k4gDobaqczBLAqLqvrqa-1vgHtLgZvbQ1ZZcQATN0RsGlcH39IY6I8vKDv5RdY2Va/s320/NYC+I.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">The trip was meaningful because, as anyone who knew me years ago could attest, I used to be completely obsessed with New York City. It represented everything that small town northern Alberta definitely was not. I wanted excitement, energy, new and interesting experiences and to come in contact with people and ideas that could shake me up and make me feel incredibly alive. Being a musician, I dreamed about a life in the arts, with Broadway being the ultimate dream. In contrast what I had felt like a dull, dreary world with no change, no excitement, and no way out. So it was with some confusion that I left NYC yesterday thinking, "well, I guess I can check that off my list" and realizing that I have no great desire to ever go back.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Then today at church instead of a sermon there was a play centered on Luke 24, verses 13-33. It tells the story, after Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection, of two men who are traveling and talking about everything that happened. The drama did a good job of creating two characters in deep pain, including one who was emotionally shaken to the core, and the other who was angry and finding his whole belief system dismantled. Even though Jesus walked with them for many hours and listened to their pain, their confusion and their questions, he did not reveal himself until they were at their destination. The travelers did not believe that he had been resurrected and so they could not see him for who he was. It made me think about how so many times it's hard to see what is new because we are still stuck in the past. We can't recognize the opportunities we have because we can't let go of preconceived and stubbornly held pictures of what we think we want. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">I never would have thought that NYC could really mean so little to me, or that going to a place like El Salvador to do HIV education could have the potential to engage and excite me on such a deep level. There is a kind of loss even in that. I remember the idealized and perfected images I used to have of what would make me happy, and subsequently how they have been painfully knocked out of me one at a time. I wonder if in the end by not getting what I wanted I got something better. I think it must be about how we grow into ourselves, and about learning to see opportunities, sometimes even in the midst of loss, and taking life up on them instead of stubbornly clinging to what we think should be. </div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-58566708768905904562010-10-03T13:16:00.000-07:002010-10-03T13:16:39.605-07:00Presents, parties and goodbyesThings seem to be speeding up toward my departure. I finished work and sent in the final copy of my thesis all on the same day (Sept 30). Then last night I had my goodbye party for work out at Cindy and Mark's cabin at the lake. The staff had raided the ER shelves and so I got lots of medical supplies, some of which I think might cause some questions at the border crossings:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWj93AS4V6ge9R_19PUBuCksWdvIJH1DZGPkfqpQCV0C8xumVIE-g8vu6ZcXUBrQK-2uT1BTfeli0Bfxn8DVM3G0UjABO7jAZk483rXY4do-zFdxUrTZ1MBqkZ_FaqYvSPu4gnEaWRSvos/s1600/Presents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWj93AS4V6ge9R_19PUBuCksWdvIJH1DZGPkfqpQCV0C8xumVIE-g8vu6ZcXUBrQK-2uT1BTfeli0Bfxn8DVM3G0UjABO7jAZk483rXY4do-zFdxUrTZ1MBqkZ_FaqYvSPu4gnEaWRSvos/s1600/Presents.jpg" /></a></div>If you can't see in detail everything that's included it's probably for the best.<br />
They also gave me this t-shirt which I can see myself wearing while I'm trying to hitch a ride on some central american highway:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg54x5ZSO1EiAevHCVFZkeq1X-u2mRw_XolPaSyQPYmtuyIcp92e0OxKNLQ4-q2K25zcRJFQVrfcR3dZ01z3IQqlrF8dVPjrVF-meAWupBYqAAphX19SMPor0mGZTTuih59plmsrRPg9r5x/s1600/Shirt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg54x5ZSO1EiAevHCVFZkeq1X-u2mRw_XolPaSyQPYmtuyIcp92e0OxKNLQ4-q2K25zcRJFQVrfcR3dZ01z3IQqlrF8dVPjrVF-meAWupBYqAAphX19SMPor0mGZTTuih59plmsrRPg9r5x/s1600/Shirt.jpg" /></a></div>And lastly, this key chain:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZUDJkVgc2XqMfvyo5JxsBDxpEvOsEQ8EEDqTV02-ZJquAADCOzEUt6fk9a7jGax-49pRj1JW4WFrrepZ3_jjc0CF5vEecW-DPonTYTpVO7dCySljExBtmE9u5Ma8Zj8U657rfl1PppG9X/s1600/Key+Chain+1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZUDJkVgc2XqMfvyo5JxsBDxpEvOsEQ8EEDqTV02-ZJquAADCOzEUt6fk9a7jGax-49pRj1JW4WFrrepZ3_jjc0CF5vEecW-DPonTYTpVO7dCySljExBtmE9u5Ma8Zj8U657rfl1PppG9X/s200/Key+Chain+1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglCaQvOw5zGW5OerLM0PoA5QnR8H-Bs29kpZUq5mG661GU08notsmI0L-5WZMkrRhcUJ5nHX-bq7QTMUzk69vqBH55MiwDh4PkGuzP81YZ7ANgo8bG_cTE2EUFciXDLN_KAwAvELwP4jjJ/s1600/Key+Chain+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglCaQvOw5zGW5OerLM0PoA5QnR8H-Bs29kpZUq5mG661GU08notsmI0L-5WZMkrRhcUJ5nHX-bq7QTMUzk69vqBH55MiwDh4PkGuzP81YZ7ANgo8bG_cTE2EUFciXDLN_KAwAvELwP4jjJ/s200/Key+Chain+2.jpg" width="200" /></a>It's a poem by Argentine writer and philosopher Jorge Luis Borges and in case you can't read it, it says:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><i>This is the best that can happen-</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>What heaven perhaps will grant us:</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Not to be wondered at or required</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>To succeed</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>But simply to be let in</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>As part of an undeniable Reality,</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i>Like stones of the road, like trees.</i></div><div style="text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div>It's a poem that really struck me a few years back and I think it's a really good framework to go to Central America with. It's easy to feel completely inadequate in any social work job because the need is so much greater than any resources we might have to offer. The problems are always complex and often there are no clear cut solutions. I know I'll probably feel even more inadequate in El Salvador so I want to keep in mind what's important, which is letting people in. I'm glad that I've got it on a key chain so I can remind myself of that often! Here's a <a href="http://www.bu.edu/cpr/repository/articles/pdf/davidson2001.pdf">link to the article</a> about mental health and social inclusion where I first saw this for anyone who might be so inclined.<br />
Well, I need to get my house packed so I guess that is enough stalling for today. I've got the next three days to pack everything and bring it to mom and dad's where we'll be having a garage sale on Thursday and Friday and getting rid of almost everything. Then is Thanksgiving weekend, and I leave the following Sunday. Like I said, this leaving seems to really be speeding up.Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8363931169917583386.post-56313953605037039152010-09-26T13:46:00.000-07:002010-09-26T17:00:22.130-07:00Name That Blog!I just lost my first attempt to write a post but that's ok because it was kind of boring and serious anyway. So instead, I'll start with a list of possible names I came up with for this blog. They are:<br />
<div><ul><li>El Salvawhere?</li>
<li>I think I have lost my everloving mind</li>
<li>Do volunteers really get paid in tins of guacamole?</li>
<li>How do you say, "Don't mug me, the only thing I've got on me is this blue plastic Crohn's bracelet" in Spanish?</li>
</ul>However, "I think I missed the turnoff to Pouce Coupe" (poos-koopy) won because me and Shelber came up with it during a fb chat. For those of you not in the know, Pouce Coupe is a little town up here in the north and we were joking that I was going to wake up in El Salvador one morning and think, "crap, where am I, did I miss the turnoff to Pouce Coupe?", just because really, me going to Pouce Coupe for any reason is about as ridiculous as me going to El Salvador for three years. The other names are pretty self explanatory.</div><div><br />
</div><div>So for the past few months I have been scrambling like mad to get my thesis finished and defended and now revised. On top of that I've been working full time as a manager with Alberta Health Services, as well as trying to sell my house, my furniture, my car, and everything else that won't fit into the two suitcases I'll be taking with me on my 3 year journey to El Salvador. If you are like many people, you may ask where El Salvador is (and hence the first alternative blog name). Google it. The second question I get is "why El Salvador?" Well, basically I've signed up for a three year assignment doing HIV education with a local organization called the <a href="http://www.anades.org/index.php"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">New Dawn Association of El Salvador (ANADES)</span></a> with funding for the position provided by the <a href="http://mcc.org/"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;">Mennonite Central Committee (MCC)</span></a>. The assignment is partly HIV prevention and partly advocacy for people living with AIDS. I leave from Edmonton to Pennsylvania on October 17 for an 11 day orientation, then on to Guatemala for a couple of months of language study, and then on to El Salvador. Quite a few people are interested in what I'll be doing, so I decided to start a blog about the whole process. And since I haven't really had time to wrap my brain around the fact that I am actually doing this, I decided I'd start the blog before I leave as a way to give myself some time to realize what is about to happen. I haven't really had much time to spend processing this all, and I've jolted awake a few nights in a bit of panic and craving cigarettes. I think blogging may be the more emotionally and physically responsible outlet for these feelings. So here goes, I hope to post lots of pictures because that's usually what I'm interested in, and I also hope to use this blog to talk about what it's like down there without getting too preachy about gluttonous North American Walmart-loving economically enslaving spiritually void masses in their mcmansions. But that shouldn't be a problem.</div><div><br />
</div><div>So... bon voyage to me and here's to the bit of narcissistic pleasure known as blogging. Enjoy!</div>Lynden Neudorfhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09363825736094209518noreply@blogger.com1